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Category: Emotion Coaching
A peaceful start to the day is priceless. If tears are shed trying to get dressed, shoes on, and into the car the entire rest of the day can feel lousy. You can take steps now to insure that as school begins, morning wars don’t.
"It’s time to leave.” These simple words can morph a delightful outing at the beach, playground or park into a volcanic meltdown of protests. Going to the playground, park or beach is supposed to be fun. But if every departure erupts in a meltdown or a mad chase after the child who seems programmed to bolt at the moment of departure, you may find yourself vowing to stay home the rest of the summer. It doesn’t have to be that way.
Oscar was howling when I entered the room. His younger brother Evan shot a glance at me, then lowered his eyes, turned his head and body from me, all while maintaining a death grip on the iPad in his arms.
Ever wonder why when one child is upset, if you offer a hug, she melts into your arms but another pushes you away?
Eight-year-old Jason and seven-year-old Matt were fighting over Pokeman cards. “You stole my card!” Jason accused Matt. “I did not! Your brother traded it to me.”
Seeking understanding doesn’t mean giving in.
You’ve picked up the cues by noticing that voices have gotten louder. Or, that there’s a slight whining tone to your child’s voice, or he’s starting to forget the rules. Now what?
- You are not helpless.
- You really do make a difference.
- Your response to your child can either escalate or deescalate the situation.
The dreaded proclamations erupt in the kitchen. Yet on this day, when your friend hears them, she calmly walks over to her four-year-old twins, bends down, places one hand on the iPad and the other on one’s shoulder as she replies. “Jacob, you had the iPad and then you decided to play with your Legos.
When we start thinking about children’s behavior the actions that we see are what we call the “fire.” Behind every “fire” or behavior there is a fuel source or a reason. In order to extinguish the “fire” behavior we have to be certain we are addressing the right fuel source, specifically what the child is feeling or needing.
Our family recently visited an arcade. The first time our son tried one of the games he won so of course he then expected to win every time.
My spirited son has just turned eight. We had a party, a small gathering of friends which works well for him. He had a great day. Today his behavior is horrid. He is very easily frustrated, yelling and rude.